Sunday, May 20, 2007

This one sold before I had a chance to post about it here, but whatever, I'm going to post it on here anyway because I have nothing else to show off and I can't take it:

Also, if I deleted you as a friend on myspace, it was (possibly) an accident. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to clean house and get rid of all the people I approved for some reason despite never having spoken to them online or off. Then after clicking on what I thought was just two or three people and unheard of bands , I was down about 30 or 40 friends. I either hit the "select all" button on accident or MySpace fucking blows. It's really a coin toss.

This better not cause one ounce of drama in my life. And I swear to god if it does, I will delete every last person and just be friends with myself and Tom. Suck on that.

And now for a survey:

1.You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you buy?
$5 worth of Mounds. I used to hate them as a kid, but I can eat them all day now. So based on this, I've theorized that it's a candy bar for grown ups.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
Cymothoa exigua. I'd let you look it up on Wiki yourself, but I'm in a Cliff Clavin kind of mood. It's a parasite that drains all the blood out of a fish's tongue until the tongue atrophies and disappears. That's pretty awesome in itself. But to make it cooler, the parasite actually replaces the tongue. The fish can continue to use the parasite as a tongue without any harm coming to it, but it now has to share the food with the parasite. It's like a marine version of a pain in the ass roommate.

3. Who's your favorite redhead?
I couldn't think of anyone so I went to a "Famous Redheads" website. I managed to get through the Ds without finding anyone I give a fuck about. I'll just go with the girl on Newsradio since I can't think of anyone.

4. What do you order when you're at IHOP?
A potato product of some sort. Perhaps a chicken product of some sort as well, if I have gotten a paycheck recently.

6. Describe your favorite pair of underwear.
I've got some Magilla Gorilla boxers.

7. Describe the last time you were injured:
I had to get 3 stitches when I cut myself opening up a can of cat food. I really wish I had a more interesting story than that. I'm going to drive recklessly tomorrow.

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Sting. I don't own any of his albums, but he's a good digger.

10. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone?
Whatever the default is.

11. Fizzy drink?
Coke. Glass bottle > Can > Plastic Bottle

12. What type of top/teeshirt are you wearing?
I put on my Psych Ward Sirens shirt when I got home from Roller Derby.

13. If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

14. Most recent movie you've watched at the cinema?
Probably Spiderman 3. I have been too busy with poker and video game

15. Name actors/actresses you've had the hots for?
I never dig actors. I'm too aware that they're just playing parts and that I have no idea what they're really like and that they're probably tools in real life. I'm so deep.

16. What's your favorite kind of cake?
White cake with sugar icing I guess. I've kind of gone off cake in the past few years. When I moved out and got my own apartment, I realized I could buy cake whenever I wanted so I'd buy one pretty much every time I went grocery shopping and just eat it myself. But the gorging has taken its toll - I now no longer associate cake with special occasions and therefore don't think of it as much of a treat. I instead associate it with a nauseous, bloated feeling.

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
What was yesterday? Saturday? I think I had McDonald's.

18. Look to your left, what do you see?
A Charles Addams calender and this big thing of drawers I use (sort of) to sort those beads I use for my fan art crap.

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Only if I have to.

20. Favorite toy as a child?

21. Do you buy your own food?
Not usually. I live with my parents now so they do most of that, even though I have my own kitchen and fridge. Whenever I do demonstrate a hint of independence and go grocery shopping myself, my food goes rotten because I either eat out or eat whatever my parents bought instead.

By the way, did you know when potatoes rot, it's really fucking terrible?

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I swing between the opinions that I'm not interesting enough to talk about ever and that everyone has it out for me and I will have my revenge one of these days, when I get 'round to it.

23. When's the last time you had a sour gummy worm?
Never. I don't touch sour shit.

24. What's your favorite fruit?

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
No. I've only one pose, and that's deer-in-headlight.

26. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I am single for life. Till death do me and just me part.

27. Have you ever eaten snow?
I've opened my mouth while it was snowing, so I guess that counts.

28. What color are your bedsheets?

29. What's your mom's favorite flower?
How the fuck would I know?

30. Have you ever done ballet?
Of course not, but I went to the ballet once (not counting all the times I've seen the Nutcracker) to give it a shot. I wasn't really feeling it. But after going, they wouldn't stop calling me trying to get me to come back like some date from hell.

31. Do you listen to classical music?

32. Do you have a "wacky noodle"?
I don't understand the question and I will not respond to it.

33. Do you watch Spongebob?
I do!

34. Last food you ate?
I had chicken strips and fries at the Roller Derby.

35. Do people consider you intelligent?
I consider myself smartest person in the universe, ever.

36. What time is it??
'bout that time

37. Is your away messager on?
No, I never use messengers anymore precisely because I'm always away.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
No. I'm not retarded.

39. What curse word do you use the most?
I prefer the kinder, gentler curse words like "hell" and "damn"

41. What time is your alarm clock set for?
one's set for 6:30, another is set for 7:00, and my cell phone is set for 7:00, 7:05, 7:10, 7:15, 7:20, 7:25, 7:30, 7:35, 7:40, 11:00, 11:05, 11:10. Also my DS is set for 6 am, but I never really use it as an alarm anymore.

42. What CD is currently in your CD player?
I always just play these terrible mixes I make myself. And they're terrible because I don't try to make a mix, but I just glance through my mp3s and pile on stuff that looks interesting at the moment before I go on a drive. I wind up having stuff from the Labyrinth soundtrack next to Joy Division next to the Dickies next to Kelly Clarkson.

43. What movie do you know every line to?
Girl on the Bridge

44. What is your favorite salad dressing?
I don't eat salads. I eat fried foods mostly.

45. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
I wouldn't date anyone, ever.

46. How old will you be turning on ur next birthday?

47. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Don't touch me.

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
My panic attacks are usually random. I can lose my job or get yelled at or have to give a speech or whatever and not feel a thing. But I can run an errand like going to the post office or grocery shopping and be all "oh god. I don't know if I should be doing this."

49. What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
"J" is pretty easy to get right

50. If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
I'd probably just change it. I'd either be a tool and get some kind of punk rock name (I've never come up with something that goes well with J. - and I have thought about it, because I'm a tool) or I'd be an even bigger tool and name myself after dead royalty or a god or something.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Well, it looks like my internet is back up for the time being. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, rub a buddha belly or whatever you're supposed to do.

Now for sale on etsy:

Thursday, May 10, 2007

First things first, check out what was on my porch last night:

I'm not sure where this thing came from, but I'm guessing Brazil. I'm also pretty sure its name is Shelob.

And I realize there's no frame of reference in this shot, but I wasn't about to risk my arm getting eaten just to stick a quarter, or a Mack truck, next to it. Suffice it to say, it was big. There are astronauts looking down on us from the moon and wondering "What's that big black spot?"
Also, a side note: Can you believe I've had a couple of hundred dollars worth of photography lessons?

And now business as usual - now for sale on etsy:

1. While driving down the road, and looking for an address, do you turn the radio down?
Yeah. I also inadvertently run red lights and stop signs because I'm too busy looking for the street name or the address number. I once ran a red light downtown and then immediately ran another one while looking in my rear view and wondering "Did I just run a red light?"

2. What TV family would you move in with?
Maybe Full House? I really like their house.Blogger is a free blog publishing tool from Google for easily sharing your thoughts with the world. Blogger makes it simple to post text, photos and video onto your personal or team blog. I'd have to gas them all while they slept, of course, but damn, I'd love a house like that.

Does the Cheers ensemble count as a family?

3. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?
Day glo stilletos

4. If you could quit your job right now, and be anything you wanted, what would it be?
I'd be a drifter.

5. What do you think of when you look at the stars?

6. When you add someone into your cell phone, do you use their real name or their nickname?
I just assign them a random series of 10 numbers. It makes incoming calls confusing, but I've just gotta be true to myself.

7. If you use their real name, do you add their last name?
I even put their middle name.

8. How much information do you ask for before you sleep with someone?
Two copies of their bank statement and I'm good to go.

9. How long do you date someone before you sleep with them?

10. If you could say ONE THING to the president, what would it be?
My cousin used to put his hand on my head and massage my scalp and explain "This is a brain sucker, do you know what it's doing?" to which I'd answer "Sucking my brain?" to which he'd retort "No. Nothing" to imply I had no brain to suck.

11. If you could meet ANY president, dead or not, who would it be?
Millard Fillmore. I'd beat him up for admitting New Mexico as a state.

12.. If you could get rid of the holiday season, would you?
I might change them around a little, but I wouldn't get rid of them entirely. I think I'd make Halloween a week long and require kids to dress up as something scary. No Power Rangers or anything lame like that, kids.

13. If you could go to any state, which one would you go to?

14. Would you ever get a personalized license plate?
No, it would just make it easier for eye witnesses to remember.

15. If yes, what would it say?

16. If you could go back to college, what would you major in?
Film studies or animation

17. Before you go to sleep at night, what do you think of?

18. What is your favorite kind of weather?
Gray and foggy. Cold enough that you ought to wear a jacket but warm enough that you won't go apeshit if you don't. Raining slightly - not enough for there to be puddles that will soak through your shoes so you're sitting around at school or work with wrinkled wet toes, absolutely miserable and homicidal. I also like the weather right before a giant storm.

19. Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?

20. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

21. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Now for sale on etsy:

These are the original Dragon Warrior slimes in fridge magnet form. For those who don't remember or just never played the game (blasphemy, by the way), you usually encounter the blue slime first. He's the easiest of the easy. He's also pretty much the mascot for the entire Dragon Warrior/Quest series. You'd think the mascot would be a dragon. But it's not. It's a slime.

Then you encounter the red slime right after the blue slime, and he's only slightly harder than the blue slime. Much later on in the game you will eventually encounter a metal slime, and he is near impossible to kill because he is near impossible to hit.

The Dragon Quest series isn't terribly big here, but they are fanatics about it in Japan (go figure). I read somewhere that they're not allowed to release new DQ games during the week in Japan because too many people call in sick to work or skip school to go buy the game.

This is the Sea Slug from Dragon Warrior 2. It's also a magnet. I don't know whether or not he'll sell. He's a minor (forgotten) enemy from a minor (forgotten) game in a series that never made it big in America. But's a slug sitting in its own drool. If no one else wants it, I wouldn't mind having it on my fridge.

These are Excite Bike coasters. It was a bike racing game, but the tracks had all kinds of obstacles from ramps to oil slicks and such. If memory serves, no one played the actual game very much, but instead focused on making their own ridiculously hard tracks.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

1. What is your favorite street sign and why?
Well, I can tell you that I hate "Megan Street", because I have to listen to my little sister say (either in person or in my head) "You know, one day I'm going to steal that sign" every time I pass it. I don't know why, because her name is Dorothy.

No, I'm kidding. Her name is Megan.

2. Who is one person you go out of your way to avoid?
The cast of Everybody Loves Raymond

3. Quick- tell me three things about your number one friend!
He is the coolest guy in the world
He is married to or living with or something the coolest girl in the world
I have never met nor seen either one of them

4. What celebrity would you most like to join on a train ride through eastern Europe?
Scott Walker

5. Referring to the celebrity you selected in question 4, what would you get them as a souvenir of your trip together?
A slab of Eastern bloc bacon

6. Think of all the education that you received. What class (not just a subject- a specific class) did you hate the most and why?
Probably this Shakespeare class at Macalester. The professor was 200 years old and super conservative academically speaking. There was an urban legend about him being a chemistry professor once, then being invovled in some classrom explosion. And while he recuperated in the hospital, he started reading Shakespeare and became a fanatic. The point of the urban legend was to explain the way he graded our papers, which was with the surgical precision of a scientist. I've always been considered by my professors to be a decent paper writer (let's face it: some people have a way with words and others....uhh, errr....not have a way? - Steve Martin), but he always tore the shit out of mine.

One of my other professors saw me looking over one of my papers, which was so marked up in red that you couldn't even read the original black ink, and expressed sympathy that I had to take a class "with that asshole", who according to her, was always just an asshole and never a chemist.

That said, I grew to like him by the end of the semester (as did the only other 4 - down from about 30 - remaining students in the class). That said, he's probably dead now.

7. Recommend a TV show I should see. If you're one of those self-important hipsters whose knee jerk response is "I don't watch TV," then tell me where you get off thinking the sun rises and sets out of your ass.
Veronica Mars is my currently airing pet and I've started what I think is a fairly successful crusade to get other people to watch it (I'm pretty sure I'm the only reason it wasn't cancelled after season 2), but it has been spotty this season so I might have to be on the lookout for a new flavor of the month.

As for shows long gone, Twin Peaks.

Or you could give up on tv for now and play Dragon Quest 8, now available for the PS2 at a reasonable price. Very reasonable considering the 100+ hours of gameplay.

8. If you had to spend $100 on the person who posted this bulletin before you, what would you buy for them?
A robot toy for Owen

9. What is your biggest complaint about MySpace?
That a multi-billion dollar site never actually works properly. It has more errors than I had on all those Shakespeare papers put together.

10. What time is it right now?
1:56 in the a.m., Wednesday, May 02, 2007 A.D.

11. Write a three sentence story about a Ford Taurus.
How about a limerick instead?
There once was a blue Ford Taurus
Owned by a slut named Dolores
She ran into a pole
Death took its toll
They could only find her head

12. Grade the story you just wrote (be objective!)
The Shakespeare professor would have given it a D because of my lousy meter and tasteless rhyming scheme.

13. What is one thing that you should have done that you have yet to do?
I should have had my tonsils removed in elementary school. I am a procrastinator.

14. Tell me something I probably don't know.
What I don't know could fill a dictionary

15. What is your favorite t-shirt?
The razorblade one I got at a Buzzcocks show. It is all faded and cracked now, sadly.

16. Describe something you might do to get attention in a large crowd.
I keep to the shadows.

17. How are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions?

18. Fast Times at Ridgemont High or Caddyshack?
Fast Times

19. Tell me about a silly purchase you've made in the last year.
I bought a sword at the Renaissance Festival, even though I was all "What's there to buy at the Renaissance Festival? A sword? What the fuck do I need a sword for?" before going. I didn't even really buy a sword. I bought a sword in a box that I was not allowed to open (and therefore see the sword I had bought) until I was off the fairgrounds - and that's what killed me. I had to know what was in that box. I paid $20 to find out what kind of sword was in a box. I am the biggest sucker for the easter egg surprise ever.

But it is a pretty cool sword. It just sits around my room in its sheath totally useless, but looking kind of cool.

20. What do you have on your refrigerator door?
Some bad drawings that I did myself.

21. If you had to give up baseball or beer, which would you give up?
I could give up both in a heartbeat and never look back.

22. Do you believe our cell phones are wiping out the bee population? And how easy would it be for you to give yours up?
I haven't heard this story. I'd be open to giving mine up, but not to save the bees.

23. Scientists discovered a new mineral, which has the same properties as Kryptonite. If you were given this mineral, and it would foil your arch nemesis, HOW would you make sure they got it, and WHAT would you do, once they were out of your way?
I'm not a doctor or anything, but if something has the same exact properties as Kryptonite, wouldn't it actually be Kryptonite? I mean I'm pretty sure if a = b, then b = a. That said, I'd probably A) throw it at them B) cackle.

24. If you were told that you had to go back in your life and change one thing...and no copping out with the "I wouldn't change a thing" answer....what would it be?
I wouldn't have eaten that M+M.

25. Answer quickly: chicken or egg?

26. (In memoriam of my Subway days....)
White or Wheat? White
Footlong or 6"? Footlong. When I worked at MRC, I used to get the largest size at Quizno's at lunchtime, challenge myself to eat it all by the end of the day, and then email everyone in the office (well, my friends in the office anyway, of which there were 3) announcing when I had finished it off.
American or Provolone? Swiss
Oil or Vinegar? Lather it up with oil
Salt or Pepper? Salt
Here or to Go? to go

27. What is your favorite professional sport and why?
Jai-Alai. I don't see any need to explain.

28. So, over all, how retarded was the original writer of this survey? Do you think they were born that way or is it self inflicted?
We're none of us perfect.

29. What’s your favorite quote (And I’m talking like a *real* quote, not your own personal motto. Meaning, cite who said it—it’s not hard to Google quotes, so Google away if you need to.)
There was a little Spanish Flea. A record star he thought he'd be. He'd heard of singers like Beatles and The Chipmunks he'd seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea? - Homer Simpson

30. would you rather watch Growing Pains or Full House?
Full House by a longshot.

31.If you could have anything to eat right now ( regardless of calories, availability, allergies etc. )what would it be?
The heart of an unborn child. Or doritoes.

32. If your life were made into a movie and you could pick ANY actor/actress in the world to play YOU, who would you pick and why?
Gisele Budchen. Because why not?

33. What is the silliest thing you have set to record on your TIVO?
I don't have TIVO, but I'd record the kids version of Trading Spaces. I used to have my tv set to search for any and all episodes of Top Cat and alert me as to when they'd be on.